ASLSP (As SLow aS Possible) is a musical piece composed by John Cage and is the subject of one of the longest-lasting musical performances yet undertaken. It was originally written in 1987 for organ and is adapted from the earlier work ASLSP 1985; a typical performance of the piano piece lasts for about 20 to 70 minutes.^[1] In 1985, Cage opted to omit the detail of exactly how slowly the piece should be played.

The current organ performance of the piece at St. Burchardi church in Halberstadt, Germany, began in 2001 and is……

I can’t even yawn that long. But beyond that, one wonders what statement Cage  was making. Was it about laughing at the tradition of tradition? Was it about the immortality of  music? Or was he simply angry at church organists?cheduled to have a duration of 639 years, ending in 2640.

Years ago, I had a birthday at Spago’s in L.A.( see picture at right) The pianist playing that night seemed a bit arrogant, especially considering he was either having an “off” night , or , as I suspect, had a tin ear and no sense of verve or timing.

I decided to play a  joke on him, and noticing he was accepting ten dollars a song request, I calmly took out a 100 dollar bill and asked him to play Happy Birthday TEN times.  By the fourth rendition, the diners were looking over, eyes raised, perplexed. By the sixth version, piano boy was sweating. He never made it to the 8th repeat because he became so flustered, so worried, he practically ran to our table to return the entire 100 dollars. Of course we did our best to stifle the laughter welling up inside. Our fellow diners stopped by our table as they left, winking and smiling. It was a birthday to remember. And the longest song I ever experienced.;)

Thomas Schoenberger